沟通在工作和生活中都是必不可少的。但很多人的烦恼往往来自于此,尤其是当代年轻人往往处于网上群聊交际花,线下社交恐惧如哑巴的状态。
由于面对面的交流是不可避免的,我们应该掌握聊天的语言艺术。在与人交谈时,要注意防止以下七个错误,这可以使谈话更加轻松和有效。
[Photo/Pexels]
1. Assuming that nobody wants to talk to you
假设没有人愿意和你谈谈
If you’re shy, I get it. But you’re not the only one. If you’re fretting about seeming confident or natural, you’re missing the point: Stop thinking about yourself. Instead, think of reaching out as an act of service.
Note:
Fret 苦恼,烦躁
2. Interrupting or intruding upon an existing conversation
中断或影响正在进行的对话
Timing is everything. If you see two or more people vigorously engaged in conversation, they’re probably not ready for you to barge in.
时间决定一切。假设你看到两个或两个以上的人在聊天,他们可能还没准备好让你插话。
First, wait for a lull. Then once you have someone’s attention and, ideally, receive a non-verbal go-ahead, that’s your chance.
首先,等待对话间歇。然后,一旦你吸引了某人的注意力,在理想的前提下,得到对方的信号,这就是你的机会。
Note:
Lull 平静阶段,间歇
3. Start talking without having something to say
打开对话时无话可说
If someone appears distant or lost in thought, moving into their personal space and mumbling hey is hardly an icebreaker.
假如有人显得疏远或失去了理智,能够进入他们的私人空间,小声说嘿很难打破僵局。
试着咨询许可(例如,对不起,你在乎我问你什么吗?)*你脑子里有一个完整的问题或评论(例如,你玩得开心吗?
这一切都是为了给对方一个舒适的回应机会。
[Photo/Pexels]
4. Broaching controversial topics
提出有争议的话题
If you’re talking to someone new, it’s generally best not to talk about weighty, off-putting or polarizing topics.如果你和一个新认识的人交谈,通常尽量不要讨论沉重、不愉快或两极分化的话题。
For starters, aim for something simple and close at hand that you and the other person can observe together. Maybe it’s the music you’re both hearing, or the food you’re both tasting.
在早期阶段,寻找一些简单而贴近生活的话题,你可以和别人聊天。也许是你们都听的音乐或者品尝的食材。
5. Being hard to follow
说话很难理解
Once you’ve made a connection with each other, keep that connection going by making yourself easy to understand.
一旦你开始与人交流,就要让自己的话变得简单易懂,继续沟通。
If you speak different languages, for example, slow your speech and enunciate clearly. If they ask you what you do for work, answer in a way that doesn’t take five minutes or deploy a lot of workplace jargon.
例如,跨语言交流时,语速慢,发音清晰。假如有人问你的工作,不要用五分钟,也不要用太多的职场术语。
6. Talking too much about yourself — or about the other person
太多关于你自己或他人的话题
It’s often said that people love to talk about themselves, and that asking questions is the secret ingredient to good conversations. But that’s not true for everyone.
人们常说,人们喜欢讨论自己,提出问题是良好沟通的秘诀。但并非所有人都是这样。
没有人喜欢被审问,所以如果你觉得问题不讨喜,就停下来。
7. Wasting someone’s time
浪费别人的时间
If you’re talking to someone, talk to them. Don’t stare at the floor or look over their shoulder at another person. Put your phone away. Be present and give them your full attention.
假如你在和某人说话,认真地说话。不要盯着地板,也不要回头看别人。把手机收起来。把你所有的注意力都留给对方。